Why The Hell Is It Always Me?
by Carliisubbercute
Summary: Why is it that God hates me? Oh wait, it's because I'm Leah Clearwater and everyone hates me. Including God. Who I think has a new hobby: pushing me to my limits .Seriously, just one more thing and I'm ready to drive myself over the edge. NOT BLACKWATER!
1. The Imprint

**Why the Hell is it Always Me?**

**Chapter One: Battle of the Heart.**

_Love everlasting  
But the dawn is breaking  
And it's yours for taking _

– _Battle of the Heart. Goapele_

* * *

**Leah's POV:**

My eyes shot open. I had been awoken by a loud howl that echoed through the forests. It was time.

It was time to fight for my life and if that meant that I had to die for my loved ones, which in my life were few and far between (the pack and Seth), then so be it; because I would do anything to keep my family safe from even the slightest ounce of danger.

I answered the calling by stripping down, tying the clothes to my ankles and phasing within mere seconds.

My mind was met with the thoughts of a very frustrated Jacob Black.

_Alright guys, I need you to__ get into formation and head for the clearing a few miles south. Now! _

The whole pack increased their speed in order to reach their destination before it was too late, but I had a few choice words to exchange with the alpha before I hastened to get to the clearing.

_Oh Almighty Alpha I don't mean to patronize you but I think we all know what we're doing. You've only been organizing this for the past 2 weeks._

And he had. He had spent weeks with the Cullens formulating a plan of action so that we had the best possible chance of defeating the enemy. Which I was more than ready to do; I was going to kick some serious ass tonight, I had a lot of pent up anger just waiting to be let out. Besides this way I wasn't going to get into any trouble.

_Oh har har har Leah, just get a move on. We haven't got time for your sarcasm right now._ Jacob said angrily.

I burst into the clearing at full speed and the sight, I was met with was enough to make me gag. Well actually I think it was more the smell.

I saw the Cullens lined up, ready to attack, with some of their vampire 'friends'. All I could think was 'JOY! The smell's going to be getting to me for the whole battle!'

'Now all I have to do is thank them for that' I thought sarcastically.

"How long until they get here, Edward?" Bella whimpered from his side. Jeez couldn't the bitch just wait like everyone else? None of us were complaining.

"Not much longer, they should be there within a couple of minutes" Edward replied, stroking the small of her back for comfort. I think I just had a baby barf.

After realizing what he had just entailed, we all tensed up. If they were going to be here in less than 5minutes then there is bound to be a fight. A huge one at that.

"Get ready" I heard Edward whisper and I looked up.

Through the mist and the fog, I could hear the sound of steady footsteps, those similar to the sound of a marching band: Organized and in a formation.

I could just make out a blur of black shapes moving swiftly through the clearing and realized that they must be the leaders. Or whatever they called themselves. I heard that stupid Italian leeches were stuck up, cocky dicks who needed to give themselves stupid names that no one could pronounce, to gratify themselves. What douches.

"Well, well, well Carlisle, my dear old friend; it's been so long, too long almost. How have you been?" Aro asked holding out his hand.

_Whatever, the only reason he's here is because he wants to kill us all. The formalities are just pretence._ I thought bitterly to myself.

"It's good to see you Aro" Carlisle replied politely, rejecting the outstretched hand before him.

_Oh shit, he's the one that can read minds. I thought we had more than enough mind readers here. _I thought, referring to Edweirdo.

"Likewise Carlisle. But I'm afraid; it's time to get down to business. I'm fairly certain you know why we have taken the liberty to bestow upon you, this visit?" Aro began gently, but his voice had a menacing quality to it that only he could achieve; it was enough to send shivers down my spine.

"Well Aro, that might be so, but you haven't paused to listen to our explanation as to why" Carlisle defended himself and his family.

"What explanation, Carlisle?" He scoffed. "There are no explanations for something as dangerous as this. An immortal child, is an immortal child, you cannot possibly think that as an ex-member of the Volturi, we are going to let this one slide? There are consequences, punishments, for what you have done and I'm afraid I cannot do what you are asking me to do."

"I'm asking you to listen, Aro. No more, no less. Just listen. If you had just paused to look at her in the beginning you would have realized that she is not an immortal child. Her heart beats like a human and her eyes are brown like her mothers. She is a hybrid – half vampire, half human" Carlisle explained calmly.

Aro narrowed his eyes, unsure whether to believe him or not.

"That might be so, but I don't have any solid evidence." Aro spat, obviously angered by the fact that he may be wrong.

Edward hissed suddenly and this caused me to jump. Jeez, what's up with him?

"He wants to see Renesmee" Edward said, answering my thought.

Jacob growled worried for his imprint's safety.

_Like hell he is!_

"Oh do not worry my friend; I have no intention of hurting the child. I would just like to meet her." Aro said wisely.

"Bella bring Renesmee forward, please" Edward commanded Bella who was standing a little further behind with Nessie on her hip. Terrified, Bella walked towards the leader with Renesmee holding her hand which was shaking uncontrollably.

"Be careful brother, we don't know what the child is capable of" a husky voice warned. I looked up in attempts to find the beautiful voice but almost instantly wished I hadn't.

Time stopped and my sense of gravity shifted to my imprint. All I could see was the beautiful vampire who was now the center of my world. He was the most beautiful creature I had ever laid eyes on. His skin was alabaster pale and he had deep black hair that was curly in all the right ways. His eyes, though what would normally be a major turn off were drawing me in deeper. The crimson of them was just mesmerising. My eyes trailed down to take in the rest of his appearance. He had a thin, straight nose and his cheekbones were high and his face chiselled. His lips were pink and plump and his muscles were toned, not the ripped muscles that I was used to seeing, but more subtle. He was tall, dark and handsome.

And a vampire.

_Oh, shit!_ Jacob thought. Hold it! If he was allowed to imprint on a baby and a hybrid one at that, then what was wrong with my imprint. And when I realized what I had just said, I panicked.

_OH MY FREAKING GOD. I just imprinted on a vampire! You know our natural born enemies. I was doomed. _

I was scared. I didn't know what to do; I couldn't stay away from him. My heart longed to be close to him. I had never felt like this, not even with Sam.

I had been so caught up in my own problem that I had forgotten why we had gathered here today.

"Well brothers, I think that we have made a grave mistake in coming here today. Against my better judgement I made false accusations and I apologize dearly for that. She will do no harm but if by any chance she does pose a threat to our kind, do not be mistaken. We shall be back to take care of her." Aro warned sternly.

"Come brothers, it is time for us to leave, we have long since overstayed our welcome"

As soon as the words were out of Aro's mouth, it felt like someone had stabbed my heart. The pain was unbearable. I couldn't let him leave, as wrong as it was, I could not suffer any longer.

I could only think of one thing that could delay their departure and so I did it. I howled. A long and sad howl filled the clearing and suddenly all eyes were on me. They stopped in their tracks and turned slowly to locate the sound of the outburst.

I silently thanked God for answering my prayers and looked up at the 3 brothers.

"It seems to me, that this wolf is terribly saddened by our departure. Could anyone possibly explain why?" Aro said, confusion clouding his face.

"Well why don't you ask her?" Edward suggested.

"Her? This fine animal is a female? Never in all my years have I come across a female shape-shifter!" He cried excitedly. "May I speak with you?" He asked calmly.

"I don't think that's such a good idea Aro, her brothers are very protective of her" Edward said hesitantly.

No way. They are not butting their asses' in my business. If I want to talk to a blood sucker than it's my choice. So they can just piss off.

I pushed everybody out of my way and walked to the front of the crowd so I could stand in front of him, as soon as I got there the sickly sweet smell threw me off and I almost threw wolf vomit up everywhere. I sure was whipped if I was going through with this shit.

"May I?" he asked quietly, offering me his hand.

I knew that Aro wanted to read my thoughts and innermost secrets. And to everyone's, including mine, surprise I took it. I didn't feel I had anything to hide from my imprints brother.

I dipped my head into his palm and hissed when his stone cold hand made contact with my snout.

"Oh my" Aro said making his way to my side

"I think you have seen quite enough, Aro" Edward said in a cold voice beckoning him to move away.

I think about what I am going to do and am confused. Do I stay here with my pack and family where I have grown up my whole life? Or do I pack up and leave with them?

Life just screws me over time and time again.

* * *

**OK my beta helped me edit this..LOL **Fi Al Bidya** so cool... anyways hope this well clear everything up that's been happening right now ^_^ **


	2. The Talk

_  
_  
**Leah's POV**

Suddenly everything went black. I felt as though I was being pulled into the ground yet I could also feel nothing.

I fell to the ground with a thud and the final sound that caught my ear was that of my name.

"LEAH!"

**Marcus's POV**

I didn't know what was wrong with me, but when I saw that beautiful creature fall to the ground, it felt as though my heart was being pulled from my chest. I was stood in shock as everyone else rushed to her side to protect her. One of the shape shifters, a large burly man, phased and pushed past the group in order to get to her side.

I presumed that this was the alpha of the pack because he looked a little larger than the rest of the wolves although I couldn't be sure. It could've easily been her mate.

I was puzzled as to what had come over me; I had never felt this way before. I didn't know what kind of bond I shared with this female wolf, but I had a feeling it was only the beginning.

_You were like a crash of thunder  
Look through my darkest nights  
You awaken all my senses make me feel alive  
Even if we try to fight it, we know that the sparks will fly  
Cause in the end, we're just two people destined to collide_

**Jacob's POV**

My heart was racing, something had happened to Leah, but no one knew what exactly.

As I pushed through the pack I caught sight of my beta, writhing on the ground, her whole body shaken by convulsions.

I began to panic as the possibility of losing Leah entered my mind, just as I was about to call out for help, Carlisle rushed over towards me.

"Jacob, we must get her to our house. It is crucial we hurry, it might already be too late." He advised.

I attempted to calm myself in order to carry her to the Cullen's house but it was no use. I gave up with that notion and picked her up anyways. I prayed to God I didn't drop her and began to walk forward.

She was going to be ok. No, she HAD to be ok. Although I had no doubt she was going to pull through, she had always been a fighter.

I remember when we were kids and the whole pack was terrified of her. We all made sure not to mess with her, because if we did then our faces would end up in the sandbox in the playground. When we grew up, we drooled over her, though we still never dared get in her way, she was as feisty as ever. She had always stuck up for us, all the way through kindergarten and up to her senior year in high school after which things began to take a turn for the worse. She became depressed and sorrowful and nothing ever seemed to cheer her up.

When I made the decision to split from Sam's pack, Seth followed suit in hopes to get away from Sam and his madness. He never expected Leah to follow, and though he protested at first, he soon realized that this was exactly what Leah needed. After her father's death, she couldn't cope anymore and sharing a mind with her ex-fiancé wasn't helping either.

"Jacob, just bring her into my doctor's office" Carlisle directed.

I must have been extremely caught up in my thoughts to not realize we had reached the house. I sighed and shut the door with my foot as Carlisle shot up the stairs to fetch medical supplies.

I walked into his study and carefully placed her on the patient's bed that was in the center of the room. I stared solemnly at her limp form and bit my lower lip. I was scared and angry. Why did she always have to go through this kind of shit? I heard Carlisle enter the room and stepped back so he could work his magic on her. I knew she was in good hands.

I walked out of the room and was shocked to see the Volturi and their guard stood expectantly in the living room. I sighed, I guess it was bound to happen if Leah imprinted on one of the leaders.

"She's going to be fine, isn't she? Do you know what happened?" I questioned apprehensively. I needed to know that my beta was going to be absolutely fine.

"Don't worry son, she's suffered from a seizure but they are relatively harmless. I have performed an EEG to check whether she is epileptic, but there is no sign of abnormal electrical activity in the brain. She may be unconscious for a few hours, but rest assured, she will make a full recovery." Carlisle explained carefully.

A knock on the door startled me and as I looked around, I saw Edward walking in.

"Jacob I think it would be wise if you were to inform the pack on Leah's state" He said stiffly

'Well I was going to do that as soon as I found out what her state actually was dickbrain' I thought to myself, knowing full well he could hear everything I was thinking.

_Like stone hearts and grenades  
You and I are not the same  
There is nothing that I will change  
Stone hearts and grenades  
All my lonely, you throw it all away  
(And) when you need me, I will keep you safe_

_After all the dust has settled  
We'll lift each other off the ground  
I'll carry you a million miles  
I'll never let you down_

**LEAH'S POV**

SHIT! My head was throbbing and it felt like I couldn't breathe. I tried moving but all my muscles hurt like crazy. I even tried lifting my head but it wouldn't budge. What the hell had happened to me!? After 5 minutes of continuous struggling I gave up and drifted back into the blackness which enveloped me.

***30 MINUTES LATER***

My eyes stirred and I tried to move my body again. I was a little more successful in my attempts this time. My body shifted a little and my eyes flew open as I took in the scene around me.

Oh fuck. I was in the leech's crypt. No wonder it stunk so much. I could smell something else in the room and growled as soon as I recognized the scent.

I looked around and sure enough, in the corner, reading a book was Emily Fucking Uley!

"What the hell are you doing here? I want you to get the fuck out of my sight." I screamed. So this is how the pack took care of me? By leaving me here with HER? Wait till they get a piece of my mind...

She jumped out of her seat, startled by my reaction, and the book fell out onto the floor, the sound echoing throughout the room.

"Oh My! Leah your awake! I thought you would never wake up. I knew that Carlisle said that you would but you haven't moved an inch for five hours. I was so scared" She sobbed.

Tears welled up in her eyes as she took in my dishevelled appearance. I narrowed my eyes in disgust. Who the heck did she think she was?

"Get the fuck out of here you bitch. I don't want to hear your voice let alone look at your ugly face." I spat angrily. "Go on, get lost before I do something that everyone else will regret."

"I'm sorry Le-" She began but I stopped her. I didn't any of the bullshit that she was trying to sell me. I was so sick of her trying to make up excuses for her actions. There was no way to defend what she had done.

"Are you stupid? Don't you understand English? I told I don't want to see your face or hear your voice. You lost that right when you cheated with my boyfriend. You were my best friend and family. Family doesn't do that to one another. And you know what? I don't care if the freaky wolf shit was to blame. The fact is, you went behind my back and broke my heart and you didn't even say sorry. You just gave me that pitying look and walked away. You didn't come to see me until it was too late. Heck you didn't even wait until Sam broke up with me before you made your move on him. And for that, I can never forgive you." I said, tears threatening to spill over.

She looked at me, a horrified expression on her face.

"Leah? You can't possibly mean that! We are meant to be friends" she cried.

"No Emily, we were friends. And maybe we still could've been but you made the decision not to." I told her honestly.

"But Leah you know it wasn't my choice, I -" Oh she wasn't going to pull that bullshit on me.

"Then whose was it Emily? Sure Sam imprinted on you, but you could have easily said no. You could have easily chosen to be friends rather than lovers. And you know, I would've have loved it if my best friend was friends with my husband to be because it would've made my life so much easier. Hell I would've even preferred it if you hated the guys guts, but I never wanted _this. _I never wanted to see the two people I loved the most betray me." I said coldly.

She just looked at me with sad eyes and my thoughts were just seething acid.

Now you get to understand how I feel, although not quite the same. But one day you're bound to get your comeuppance. We don't all get what we want. I learned that the hard way.

"Now please go Emily. And don't come back again. You've hurt me more than enough already."

She turned around, walked out of the room and closed the door behind her. I knew Sam had heard the whole argument which was a good thing because it saved me from repeating myself in the future.

I tried to take my mind off of the argument and was automatically drawn to thinking of Marcus. I just hoped Marcus was still here because I would love to talk to him and explain to him what had happened between us.

_There's a lot of strength in weakness  
There's a lot of truth in lies  
But in the end, we're just two people destined to collide_

_Like stone hearts and grenades  
You and I are not the same  
There is nothing I will change  
Stone hearts and grenades_

_All my lonely, you throw it all away  
(And) when you need me, I will keep you safe  
All my loneliness, you throw it all away  
(Away, away, away)_

_Like stone hearts and grenades  
You and I are not the same  
There is nothing I will change_

_Stone hearts and grenades  
Stone hearts and grenades_

_All my lonely, you throw it all away  
When you need me, I will keep you safe  
All my lonely, you throw it all away  
When you need me, I will keep you safe_  
_All my lonely, you throw it all away__  
__When you need me, I will keep you safe  
All my lonely, you throw it all away  
When you need me_, _I will keep you safe_

* * *

Fi Al Bidya

**OMG ok so this is whats going down right now :-P hope you like it better than before :-) thats my beta by the way**


	3. A Faded Memory

**Chapter 3: A Faded Memory**

_Why did you say goodbye  
Why did you have to lie  
Saying you loved me  
But remember I'm just a faded memory_

_~Sacred Sunday – Faded Memory_

* * *

**Leah's POV:**

I woke up, tired beyond belief. I was laying in bed, staring blankly at the ceiling in attempts to recall what had happened and why on earth I was lying in a strange bed in a room that was most certainly not mine.

Then it hit me. Everything that had happened yesterday came flying back to me.

I had imprinted. Finally. Just not on the person I would have hoped to imprint upon. Actually scratch that. It was the person who I would normally kill if they got too close. But because fate hated me, I imprinted on a bloodsucker. That's right. My own worst enemy.

Which brings me to Emily and her pathetic excuses.

But before I even had a chance to rant to myself, I heard a knock at the door.

"Come in" I sighed, although as soon as the person came in, I wish I hadn't.

Sam was stood there, glaring at me hatefully. If looks could kill, I'd be dead right now.

I'm pretty darn sure I know why he is here today. Emily, the bitch, must've gone crying to him after what went down between us. The bitch could never keep secrets. I didn't regret it though. If I had the chance, I wouldn't take it back. I have been waiting for much too long to let an opportunity, such as that, to slide. She deserved every single word of hate that I threw at her and if she couldn't handle the truth then tough. She would just have to learn.

I was sick of Sam mother fuckin' Ugly sticking up for her. It's as if those 6 years of his life that we spent together were nothing. It was like I was a faded memory from a distant time.

"What the hell do you want now, Sam?" I scowled angrily at him. I didn't have time to deal with this shit so I decided to be blunt.

"You know what I want. I want to know what you said to Emily yesterday, Leah. She came out of the room, crying her bloody eyes out." He said sternly, his jaw locked and the slightest hint of tremors beginning to shake his large frame.

"I told her the truth" I said simply.

"You damn well did more than that. She was a sobbing wreck when she came to me" He said, shaking a little more now.

"I can't help it if she can't handle the truth." I begin, wanting to get this discussion over and done with as quickly as possible "I just told her, that I couldn't be near her nor could I call her family because no one in my family is a lying backstabber. I also told her that I didn't buy any of that 'but he's my soul mate' shit. Because it's not true. She could have chosen to be anything she wanted. But she chose lover and that was crossing the line because she did it behind my back"

Sam just stared at me blankly.

"Oh don't play innocent with me. I know perfectly well that you two were fucking each other senseless behind my back. I didn't say anything because I wanted to see how long you were going to string me along. Plus I didn't want you're douchebaginess to come and apologize to me and tell me that you love me and it was all a mistake. I don't buy that shit" I said as confidently as was possible for me. I could feel tears brimming under the surface but I blinked them away. I wasn't going to waste anymore tears over a guy who couldn't care less.

"Leah…" He began slowly but I cut him off.

"But thing is Sam, you don't. You don't love me. And I don't want to hear anything else from you. I want you, like Emily, to stay away from me. I want you to go be happy with Emily in your perfect fuckin' world and forget about me. It'll be much easier for all of us. Me included. I'd rather not sit through the pain every day." I say taking a deep breath to calm myself down.

"Now leave. I have nothing more to say to you. You are nothing to me. Just like I am nothing to you." I say calmly pointing to the door.

"I'm not leaving, Leah. This isn't over. I still have things I need to talk to you about. Like what the hell those leeches are doing in this house" He argued.

"I don't have time for this shit! I already told you what I think of you, so now you can get your fat ass out of this room and leave me alone!" I practically screamed in his face!

"You know I love you. Just not in the same way as before. But just don't forget. I love you." he said quietly, almost inaudibly, before walking out the door.

The second the door slammed shut, I slid down into the covers and let out all the tears that I had been keeping trapped inside me. Why was I always the one to get hurt?

*****

After crying for what must have been hours, I began to feel better. Sitting up in my bed, I wiped my tear stained face with the back of my hand. I hoisted myself out of the bed with great difficulty and attempted to walk to the bathroom.

I was a little stiff from lying down for several days, but I knew moving was the only way I was going to recover. I hobbled into the bathroom towards the sink and looked at myself in the mirror.

The sight that met my eyes was a scary one to say the least; my hair was a frazzled mess and the bags under my eyes occupied half my face. I sighed and walked back into the room and towards the closet. Esme always bought things for the wolves in order to make us feel welcome and at home, and though the leech smell got to me, I wasn't going to refuse an offer of new clothes.

Opening the closet door, I walked in and began to rifle through some clothes to find ones that fit me comfortably. I picked out some beige Capri pants and a plain white t-shirt. I figured the minimalistic approach would be the best idea.

I quickly grabbed a towel, flicked on the iPod in its dock and turned the music up loud.

Slowly I walked back into the bathroom, locked the door, stripped down to nothing and stepped into the shower after turning the water to the hottest setting possible. Having a temperature of one oh eight point nine degrees means that external heat doesn't influence us much.

I scrubbed myself vigorously and took great care to groom myself as well as I could in order to look my best. After finished with my shower, I stepped out and wrapped my hair in a towel and slipped into a towelly robe.

I walked into the room and dried my hair with the towel before deciding to get changed into the appropriate outfit.

Suddenly the song "Shine On" by "The Kooks" came on, and it helped boost my confidence.

_Safety pins holding up the things  
That make you mine  
About your hair, you needn't care,  
You look beautiful all the time._

Shine, shine, shine on  
Yes  
Wont you shine, shine on

I walked back to the mirror in the bathroom and applied very subtle make-up which involved black eye liner and a hint of nude lip-gloss. I didn't want to seem like I was trying too hard. Brushing my long wavy hair, I looked in the mirror and sighed. I didn't really know why I was trying so hard, other than the obvious imprint situation, but I felt I needed to prove a point to myself as well as Sam. He needed to see that I was capable of being happy and beautiful even after he left me.

Putting the brush on the sink I decided it was time to face the music. It was now or never.

I straightened my shirt, slipped on some white flats and opened the door before slowly walking down the hallway, anxious of what was to come.

The reaction that I was greeted with came as a nice surprise. As soon as I walked into the living room everyone gasped.

"I didn't realize everyone was waiting on me!" I gasped. I thought most of the pack had gone, apart from Jake and Seth. I looked around for an answer but was met with resounding silence. Did I really look that beautiful as to render the most conversational group of people, speechless?

"Yes, you do Leah." I heard Edward chuckle from the corner of the room. Oh God, where is Bella bitch when you need her?

He smirked at first, but it soon turned into a scowl when I began to think of Bella in the most degrading manner possible.

"Yeah, as a matter of fact we were Leah. We all needed to make sure our favourite pack member was still alive and well" Quil replied in a daze.

"Well there you are, you've seen me. I'm fine. You can leave now" I said, dismissing the pack with my hands.

"Leah!" Jacob said a shocked expression on his face.

Oh what did he expect, for me to go all soft after almost dying? I don't think so.

"Could we get a move on with the festivities? I need to be somewhere" I replied, stealing a quick glance towards Marcus.

"Oh and where's that? The whore house? It's not like you have a date or anything Leah. Although we could easily change that" Paul said wiggling his eyebrows. Why does he have to be such a smart ass and make a comment about everything?

"Actually Paul Dearest, I have an appointment at the Salon and have scheduled a shopping trip in order to replenish my closet." I said in smart tone,

Which was true, I was running low on clothes and needed to stock up, soon.

"Don't you have a walk in closet full of brand new clothes?" Seth questioned.

My eyebrows knitted together in a scowl and I turned to face him in order to tell him off but Jacob beat me to it.

"Dude! You don't ever say that a girl has too many clothes. Especially not to girls like Leah, they'll personally see to it that you are castrated." he whispered harshly to him.

Thank god for that, Seth could be so naive sometimes!

I heard someone clearing their throat from across the room and realized it was Sam. What a jackass.

"Problem there Sam?" I say, raising my eyebrows quizzically.

"Yes, there is actually. I want to know what the hell these leeches have been doing here for hours on end waiting for you to wake up, Leah?" He said aggressively. Why on earth did I ever date this douche?

"Oh build a bridge and get over it Sam. Not everyone does what you say. Besides this isn't even your house, it's the Cullen's!" I shout at him, my blood beginning to boil.

"Calm down my friends. We have remained here on the Cullen's property for this young female wolf has formed some empowering bond with my brother Marcus." Aro said, attempting to calm the pack down.

OH SHIT. Sam was going to find out about the imprint. Shit. Shit. Shit.

I prayed to god he would drop it, but with my luck he wouldn't. I could practically feel the anger radiating off of Sam from where I was standing.

Before I knew it, Sam was stood in front of me, his face inches from mine, looking furious.

"What did he just say Leah?" Sam whispered menacingly in my face, his hot breath tickling my face.

I gasped before blacking out again.


	4. My Real Dreams

**_ Why The Hell is it always me_**

**_Chapter Four: My Dreams_**

_**When I look at you** by** Miley Cyrus**_

_Everybody need inspiration,  
Everybody needs a soul  
The beautiful melody  
When the nights alone  
_

**A/N:-**

**

* * *

  
**

_**Leah's POV:**_

_the wind was whipping my hair around my face … as we left the house I was glad to get out once and awhile from the whole pack business and what not so I deiced to call charlie and see if he could like to go to the beach with me._

_Every sense harry died I have been nothing but depressed and I can't let it me and harry had been married for 36 years and still going strong I loved him with all my heart I could believe fate deiced it was his time to go._

_When my kids Leah and harry phrased I couldn't be live what was happening before my eyes, than harry hate an heart attack because of his poor eating habits when his little princess Leah phrased into a wolf he was in great pain he never wanted anything to happen to her like this._

_" Charlie watch out.... AHHHHHHH!!!!!" and the car drove into the woods over the rock and dove straight off the cliff into the water.._

_than everything went black._

_**I awoke with me gasping for air it seemed so real and to hear my mothers thoughts on how dad died was even worse for me I looked around to see the pack and the cullens and the Volutri around me...**_

_**I guess they moved me to the couch my body was slick with sweat my hair had hung to the side of my face with my bangs pushed back I than came face to face with Dr. Cullen Flashing a light in my eyes**_

_" **Leah what the hell are those bloodsucker's talking about" Sam said with an angery expression on his face you could feel his body heat from all they way over here.  
**_

_**I gulped down and look up to him**_

_**I siged**_

_"**.............."**_

_**

* * *

**_

Ok sorry to leave you hangin like that but i cuoldn't think of anything else i hope you like it

_**REVIEW!!!! REVIEW!!! REVIEW!!!**_


	5. When I Look At You

**Why the Hell is it always me**

**Chapter Four: **_When I look at you_

_Everybody need inspiration,  
Everybody needs a soul  
The beautiful melody  
When the nights alone_

**A/N:-**

**Leah's POV:**

_My eyes focused in on the cliffs ahead and my breathing became shallower and shallower. There was no way the car would come to a stop in time; I had tried the brakes and the emergency brakes but it was of no avail. _

_The car edged closer and closer towards the cliff face and I braced myself for the icy depths that awaited me. I let go of the steering wheel and covered my face as though it would protect me from my fate. The car screeched and veered off the road at the turning; flipping over several times before plummeting into the roaring blacks waves that was to engulf me. _

_I lost all sense of gravity as the car was suspended in mid air. With a soft scream I looked down and then blacked out_.

My eyes shot open. I was lying drenched in a cold sweat, my heart pounding furiously in my chest on a brown leather couch. I was in one of many lounges in the Cullen's mansion.

"Leah!" a man with a velvety smooth voice shouted worriedly. I expected it to be Jake but it was Marcus. My breath caught in my throat when I realized I was staring into the beautiful orbs that were Marcus' eyes. They were holding me still in time and space and when I looked into them again I realized that they were an amber color similar to the Cullen's.

"Oh!" I exclaimed in a dazed voice. This dream felt so surreal. My mind felt hazy and I didn't know where to go.

"Leah! Leah! Move out of the way, guys, that's my beta!" I heard Jake pushing through to seek me out. Why was he doing this? Why couldn't he be polite instead of pushing and shoving? Although I guess I didn't really have a place to say that with my track record.

"Leah, are you ok?" Jake whispered, taking my face in his rough hands and looking at me as if I had lost it. Not that this was the dream of a sane person.

"Yeah, I'm fine. Just had a bad dream" I say in a quiet voice, unsure of even myself.

I was about to explain it when the door slammed open and a saw a very flustered Carlisle Cullen sporting a haunted look on his face.

"Leah. I have some news." He said, choking on his own words. My heart rate picked up again and I assumed that something terrible must have happened for the calmest person I have ever met to act in this manner.

"What's wrong Carlisle? What's happened?" I didn't want to know, but there was no escaping the fact I was going to find out eventually.

"There's no easy way to tell you this but I'm just going to come right out with it. There's no need for me to beat around the bush. I'm very sorry but your mother was involved in a car crash and drove off the cliffs. She was coming to visit you after you collapsed for the second time." Carlisle said without pausing once. He looked me straight in the eyes and I just cracked.

_Cause there is no guarantee  
That this life is easy…_

_Yea when I water sprouting apart  
When there's no light to break up  
The Darkness, that's  
When I… I I I Look at you_

I fell to my knees and buried my head in my hands. I let out a strangled sob and just felt the tears cascade down my face.

My parents, both of them, gone. I'd never see my mother's loving face or my father's knowing smile. I'd never hear my mother's advice nor would I hear my father's tribe tales.

I felt the pain envelop me and my heart crack. The pain was unbearable but I deserved it. It was my fault my mother died, I saw it coming in the dream. I could haves stopped it.

Just like my father, it was always my fault.

**(Flashback)**

I have spent 3 months crying. Crying over an ex boyfriend who couldn't care less. Well you know what? Sam Ugly and Emily Young could screw themselves. I decided that I didn't care anymore.

It's been 2 weeks since I have had a civil conversation, eaten a full meal or even slept a goodnights sleep. Usually I wake up, drenched in a cold sweat and screaming after facing the nightmare that haunts me every night.

Feeling particularly weak, I muster as much energy as was possible for me and slowly made my way down the stairs to the kitchen. Whilst I was a few steps from the bottom of the staircase I could hear voices drifting from the kitchen side of the staircase drifting towards the lounge side that I was on. It was the voices of my mother, my father and Emily.

My brow furrowed together and I walked in, uncertain whether it was my lack of food that was causing me to hear things or whether Emily really did have the nerve to show up to my house after what she did.

My gaunt face was a mix of horror and disgust as I saw Emily and my mother talking over tea and biscuits whilst my father was over by the stove, preparing some of his famous fish fry.

"Oh Leah! Thank goodness, you're finally out of your room. Come dear, sit with us, Emily has brought some wonderful news." My mother exclaimed standing up to put an arm around my shoulder and escort me to the table.

I fiercely shrugged the arm off my shoulder and walked briskly to the table without another word. What could be so wonderful so that Emily would even dare show her face at my house?

"I'm getting married! It's going to be a lovely spring wedding and I've decided that I would love for Leah to be my Maid Of Honor" Emily said, clapping her hands together and giving me a warm smile.

What was wrong with her? Did she enjoy putting me through all this pain? What in her right mind made her want to make me the maid of honor?

I shook my head slowly. I didn't want to speak to her. There was nothing that I wanted to say to the bitch after what she had done. She had ruined my whole life and expected me to forgive her just like that?

"Now Leah. I don't want any of this nonsense. We've had enough of your silence. It's time to speak up" My mother scolds, glaring at me in anger.

"No." I say. I would much rather have a monosyllable conversation with her rather than argue. She isn't worth the effort.

"Are you sure? Do you not remember the promise we made when we were young? Where we promised that we would be Maid of Honors at each other's weddings?2 Emily said hopefully.

That bitch really did not get it did she? She honestly expects me to just forgive her, walk up the aisle as a bridesmaid but not the bride at the wedding of the love of my life? Screw the no arguments pact. She has it coming to her if she thinks she can insult me like that.

"Oh don't play innocent with me Emily. You know full well that I would refuse but still you had the nerve to come up to this house, in front of my parents and ask me. But you know what? I'm not going to change my mind and nothing on this earth ever will. Not you, not Sam and not my parent's. Now leave, in case you haven't realized: you're no longer welcome here_" _I shout angrily at her, my whole body overcome by tremors.

"Leah, princess, calm down. Please, I know you're angry but for my sake, just let it be." My father pleaded with me in attempts to calm me down but it had the opposite effect and he realized instantaneously and backed off slowly.

Why was my own father backing off? Was I really that much of a monster? I didn't have much time to think because I was taken over by a sudden onset of pain.

I felt as if I was being torn apart from the inside out. I collapsed onto the floor and let out blood curdling screams; I was in agony, writhing on the ground when the pain subsided almost as quickly as it came.

I thought I was fine again and attempted to stand up, what I didn't realize that at that moment in time I had turned into a monster. A freak of nature. The only female shape-shifter in the history of our tribe. But I was soon to find out.

In my attempts to stand up I realized that I was no longer human. Instead of hands to spring me up off of the ground I found paws. Four furry paws that most certainly did not belong to me. I tried to cry out in protest but was only met with a bark. What had I turned into?

I looked up to question my parents but whined when my eyes met the sight that was in front of me. Whatever happened next happened in slow motion. My father was stood, wheezing and clasping his chest, in obvious pain. Before I could do anything he fell with a thud to the floor and fell unconscious. My mother screamed and ran to his side whilst Emily frantically called 911.

After realizing there was not much she could do for my father, my mother grabbed a hold of my neck and escorted me up the stairs in bid to hide me from the paramedics that were to arrive at the scene.

And from that whole day there is one moment in time that has been burned into my memory for the rest of eternity: the sight of my father lying on the ground whilst I was being pulled away from him. As if I was a criminal. A monster.

It was my fault he had died and I knew it.

**(End of flashback)**

_When the waves  
Are flooding the shore and I can't  
Find my way home anymore  
That's when I… I I look at you…_

_When I look At You I see forgiveness  
I see the truth You love me for who I am  
Like the stars Hold the moon  
Right there where they belong  
And I Know I'm Not Alone._

I was brought back to reality by Jacob, who was shaking me by the shoulders calling my name.

"Leah!" He shouted loudly.

I shook my head and looked up at him.

"Oh sorry Jacob! I didn't realize I had drifted off." I said, shaking my head to clear my train of thought.

"No need to apologize. I was worried you had gone into shock. You wouldn't answer to anyone. We were getting worried." He said, smiling at me.

"Why would I have gone into shock?" I question, raising my eyebrows.

And that's when it hit me. My mother had died. And I could have prevented it. Again.

I looked up and saw the pitying faces of those around me and was angered. I didn't need this pity! All I wanted was to be comforted but as usual it was something that was out of my reach.

I turned on my heel and ran out of the house. There was something wrong with my life. I had come this close to being killed by Sam a few hours ago and now my mother has died? God must be having fun with my life.

* * *

REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW!!!!!!

my beta helped me with this one.. i guess :-D i hope you enjoyed this.. until next time


	6. The Red

**Why The Hell Is It Always Me **

**Chapter Five **_The Red_

_._

_They say freak,  
When you're singled out,  
The red, well it filters through._

**A/N:_-_**

**Leah's POV:**

As I got the forest line I stripped and phased, letting the wolf take over. I was running so fast the tress blurred past me, the wind in my fur made me feel free. I knew I was running away from my problems but I just needed to get my head and my thoughts straight. When I broke trough the thick bush I came across a beautiful water fall with a meadow surrounding it. I went over the lake and scooped a hand full of water to dink.

The temperature was nice so I drove in letting the cold spring water cool my over heated skin and just relaxed. I heard a twig snap to the left of me. Turning to see who it was, Marcus of the Volutri came though the bush as he walked he looked as if he was gliding on air.

" What are you doing here" I snapped furious that someone had fallowed me when I wanted to me left alone.

" I just though you could use someone to talk to, I'm sorry I didn't mean to make you upset" his voice like the rich honey. When I looked into his ruby red eyes I knew I couldn't stay mad at him. I hated this damn imprint! Making me fall in love with a blood sucking leech and no less a human drinker. I rolled my eyes and sighed

" Fine you can stay.. just don't talk or make any noise" I mumbled back. Trying to relax thinking about what just happened only moments ago. A frown set making its way on my face realizing that I had no one felt, both of my parents where gone and I'm stuck with a bloodsucker for the rest of my life. And still have to watch over Seth

I tried to calm down and just clear my mind of everything right now as a memory came to me I felt calmness wash over me...

_( Flash Back )_

_A little Leah Clearwater, five years old with her two front teeth missing her long hair done in pig tails with a pretty pink sundress on running about the front yard as he daddy chased her around ready to tickle her._

" _I;m gonna get' cha! " shouted Harry running after his little girl_

_she squealed running as fast as her little legs could take her._

" _No! Daddy!" she giggles running around her mother who has a plate of her home made fish fry. Sue has a smile on her face when she looked at her husband and daughter playing ._

" _Mommy save me!, I don't like the tickle monster" Leah said as she trapped her tiny army around her mothers legs._

" _Ok Harry that's enough for right now come now so we can eat" Sue said as she set the food down on the table out side. Sue smiled when harry kissed her on the lips saying fine and sat down with Leah on the right of him in her high chair._

" _I love you mommy" Leah said as she went back to eating her lunch_

" _I love you too my beautiful girl" Sue said looking lovely at her little angle _

_( End Of Flash Back )_

I smiled at the memory, I didn't even realize I was crying until a cold hand was wiping my tears away form my cheeks. I looked up to see him looking curiously at his finger where my tears where. I looked into his eyes not able to resist the pull I move my face closer and closed my eyes.


	7. Adolescents

**Why The Hell Is It Always Me **

**Chapter Five: **_ Adolescents By Incubus _

_._

_I'm feeling out of bounds, out of bounds  
I'm running out of time, out of time  
I know there's no such thing as either of them  
But its doesn't make me feel any better_

**A/N:_-_**

_**Previously on Why The Hell Is It Always Me**_

_I smiled at the memory, I didn't even realize I was crying until a cold hand was wiping my tears away form my cheeks. I looked up to see him looking curiously at his finger where my tears where. I looked into his eyes not able to resist the pull I move my face closer and closed my eyes. _

**Leah's POV:**

_'What hell are you doing!'_ My subconscious yelled at me ' _He's a bloodsucker remember a leach your natural born enemy you can't do this'_ I shook my head to clear it and pulled my head back to look into his eyes again. But than again what was wrong with trying to find someone that looked me even though it would be forced. Did I really want to spend the rest of my life alone while everyone while everyone else get's there happy endings?

_'No!'_ That wasn't going to happen ever.

" What are these salty substances called young one?" Marcus said examining it

I mumbled something and got up off the grass and started walking back to the bloodsucker's house. Marcus didn't say much to me as we began our walk back. Could I really do this? Let me myself be happy for the first time after Sam? I kept thinking of the effects this could have on me. What would my dad think ? or my mom a frown made its way on my face as I kept thinking about it , to be or not to be?

_' The hell with it than damn it! just kiss ,him fuck against the trees if you have too we're going to happy damn it we fucking deserve it for the shit we've been though' _ I had came to a stop and and looked over my shoulder and saw him walking a few feet behind me. He had a small smile on his lips looking up at the sky and taking in the forest..

I looked away and kept walking, smelling the leeches stench I knew I was close to the house. I looked up into the light sky thinking of my dad watching down over me but me not being able to see him back. The cool night air brushed along my skin making a shiver down my spine breathing in the fresh air.

" How long are you staying here?" I asked not turning around know he would hear me anyways. The leafs crunched under my feet but I could hear his light foot steps not to far behind.

" Just to make sure the child is not a threat to our world then we will take out leave." he said My heart gave a painful squeeze just thinking about being away from him.

" Oh" I said not want to giving my emotions away. I walked up the steps not bothering to knock on the door anymore its not like they didn't know I was coming back. I could smell Esme cooking for us again. I didn't mind mama leech she was always taking care of Seth when we came over here for dinner sometimes, she had that mother vibe that made me want to stay longer.

" Hello Leah" Esme said standing over the stove, the smell that was coming out of the pots made my stomach rumble.

I nodded my head at her as I made a bee line for my brother.

I took a seat next to him and Jacob on the other side of me.

"Its going to be ok Lee" he said running his fingers threw my hair.

Some how I didn't believe it this time. To many things have been happening that I don't have any control over. Sam, the things with school , the pack, and now and imprint that turns out to be a leech.

I just wanted some fucking peace 'Fate' could at least give me a fucking break

"mmm" I said Esme calling everyone in for the food Jacob being the first one to run to the food like it was going to disappear.

" It smells great in here Esme thanks" Seth said taking scoops of spaghetti on his plate. Things wouldn't be the same anymore more so than ever.

" Why thank you Seth , Leah why don't you go ahead and eat and I'll go talk to carlise about your mom and the burial." I nodded my head and thanks and begin to dig in. as soon as the food touched my tongue it felt like I haven't eaten in forever. Taking my plate to the sink i rinsed it off and put it away.

" Hey so I'm going to be going to bed now I'm... just really tired and have a lot on my mind right now i'll see you guys tomorrow morning" Yells of good nights where heard through out of the house.

taking a quick shower I slipped on some shorts and a tank top and climbed into bed falling a sleep almost instantly

* * *

ok so i know i know i havent been updating but with school and such i really don't have time to do it much but get a few typed words in every now and than. ANYWHOOO! i know this is short but i really did want to rap this u. :D next ch. i was thinkning of doing a Esme and Carlisle POV? O.o. what do you think send me a review to let me now. :) trying to update my stories this week and HAPPY ST. PATRICKS DAY EVERYONE ! :)


	8. Review I'm Sorry

Oh so I'm so sorry you guys. I Know I haven't updated in a very long time. But I didn't have a computer anymore and my laptop is getting fixed. But now I have a Imac! well I'm sharing anyways I'm looking for a new beta so if any of you want to message me about it let me know. Or if my old beta gets in touch with me


	9. Chapter 9

Hello readers! I am back going to be writing soon. But finals are upon us so sadly it won't be this week but soon


End file.
